Mothering

New Year.

2019

I asked Tom and his brother Dominic to name three accomplishments from 2018.

Tom and I struggled.

Tom said they were all Laurie related. He was happy to have kept things together at work. He was happy to have got Laurie sleeping. He was happy that Laurie is growing up a happy baby.

I said I struggled to take ownership of Laurie's achievements. To me they feel like hers not mine.

I felt like I had accomplished maintaining drama free relationships with my family this year in a way that hadn't  violated my needs. I was proud of that. I struggled with more and have resolved to take more notice of achievements that don't necessarily stand out amongst this constant rhythm of life. When you are not having a baby, getting a new job or promotion or moving house it is hard to notice the small things you are achieving.

I want to start  writing songs and put on a play this year, but will I feel like a better person if I do, if I achieve these more tangible targets?

I don't know.