Mothering

I have guilt today. This morning I was in bed having my coffee.

It is 8.24AM and I have not gone in to get Laurie out of her crib yet.

She is talking in her room.

I am nervous about starting the day.

Of course, when I go in to get her, she smells like biscuits and butter and is  playing with an alligator and a blanket and she folds into me like dough and I love her and I can't believe I ever want to spend any time away from her and I feel guilt that I left her for so long.

It is lunch time now, I am outside again in the cold in my coat, eating mushroom soup. Laurie is napping in her buggy.

Some mothers sit next to us, they are talking and I hate them. I hate listening to mums talk although/especially because I know I do exactly the same.

They talk about buying Panatone and dried figs for Christmas and buying their father's third wife an amaryllis from M&S. One of them is applying mascara as she talks, her hair is wet and scraped back in a bun in the style we have all mastered.

Some